Fun with numbers - Update by Russ

There are 300,000,000 people in the U.S., and of those 300 million people, nearly 55% of them are obese. This means that 165,000,000 people weigh 100 or more pounds more than they should. So given that figure, I will make a conservative guess that the combined extra weight of these fatties is about 2 billion pounds. And that's just in the U.S. There are also a lot of fat people in Italy I've heard.

Anyway here's my point: there is a serious problem with greenhouse effect on the earth. Basically, the heat in the atmosphere is unable to escape. And thus global warming. Consider this, the mass of an object is equal to the gravity of an object, meaning that the more mass the more gravity. The more gravity of a planet the thicker the atmosphere. Fat people make the earth heavier, and therefore give the earth more gravity. Since more gravity equals more atmosphere, I blame McDonald's for global warming.

Write to Wrong - Update by Russ

Let's play a game called do we need a Glue stick or an M16?

So I'm back in first grade and it's arts and crafts time. I pull out my favorite piece of big blue construction paper, my safety scissors which I had been allowed to put a gold sticker on, and then I am faced with a decision: do I reach in the big "share basket" and pull out a humorously colored glue stick, or do I open my desk, remove the false bottom and pull out the fully loaded M16 and switch the selector to auto?

Well I personally think that a glue stick would be a bit more appropriate in this situation, so we'll go with a glue stick. This question was pretty easy.

Fast-forward a little, and I am in Vietnam, Charlie is nowhere to be found, but me and my platoon are looking anyway. We've been walking for a while and my platoon leader finally calls a short halt; I go to one knee. Just then to my 8 o'clock I hear a loud explosion. I look back only to see the small pieces of SGT Porter that the landmine had left behind. Shots started ringing out, and I could see the tracer rounds whizzing past. My good buddy private Molson takes out his M16, and tries to shoot, but he can't clear what he thinks is a jam. He bangs his gun against the ground, but to no avail, and then he realized that when he was cleaning his rifle, he had forgotten to re-install the firing pin. The hunk of steel he was holding in his hands was as useless as a Mexican with an M.B.A. and Molson knew it.

I soon found myself catching the full magazines that Molson threw in my direction. And now I knew it was decision time once again. Do I un-sling my weapon, spray and pray until I have exhausted all of my rounds and the rounds of my grenade throwing comrade. Or do I run back to camp, find some cigarettes to barter with, bribe the chopper pilot to fly me to the exchange, and buy a glue stick?

I think in this case the first choice is also the best. So another easy decision.

Here’s where it gets a little tricky. The war has ended and I am now employed at the post office. I don't really like my job, and no one at my job likes me. It was time for my break nearly two hours ago, and my relief is nowhere to be found. The date today is the 15th of April and for some reason everyone has waited till today to buy stamps. The line is out the door, and I have to be here until midnight. I can still remember a time when I was happy, but it seems like they are trying to take even memories of happiness from me. The power in my house has been shut off, because my ex-wife found it in the kindness of her heart to not only drain my checking account, but to also leave me with enough bounce charges for the bank to put a lien on my car and garnish my wages for the next four months. I am working for free. I am working a ten hour shift on the 15th of April for free. A man approaches me without being called, he asks if I have something he can use to seal the envelope containing his tax return. It is decision time.

An M16 or a glue stick....